This is how much of a nerd I am.

So, the other week I went upstairs, and there was a notice on the fridge from my landlords. It was as follows, and I quote:

The upstairs bathroom will be temporally out of use due to painting. Please cooperate in the use of the downstairs bathroom. We regret any inconvenience this may cause. Time is of the essence!

Isn't that awesome? Or did you not notice? There is an amusing typo in there. "Temporally." "1. Of, relating to, or limited by time." The geek in me is entertained, especially by the accidental additional hilarity of "Time is of the essence!"

I saw it, and nearly spewed some milk. I was all "oh, they must be taking the bathroom back in time so the paint dries sooner." I am a dweeb, I thought you knew.

Amazazing.

Today, I re-re-(re-?)discovered my old livejournal blog. It's lame, and I spend alot of the time referring to myself in 3rd person, but I did find my old bio, and I thought I'd share it with you here.

Name:	rabid_wulf
Location:	Millarville, Alberta, Canada
Bio:	Well howdy, interested reader. I am Wulf. I have written seven novels and have won the Nobel Peace Prize (under a different persona) for my work in suffrage movements in the early 1800's. I am extremely athletic and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I also happen to be a world renowed authority on saliva, as I have lots of it to study. I really despise cruelty, especially to animals. However, I am not adverse to a spot of torture if the subject is a deserving president, say. I have not had an education, but have given several talks on Einstien's theory of relativity and a few of Descarte's philosophies. I have made a slight amendment to one, and you may quote me: "I sink, therefore I am." My number one goal is to become supreme dictator of the world. Anyway, that is about it. If you want an autograph, stick a wet orangepeel beneath your local mailbox and it will arrive in 30 years.
Interests:	2: classical music, fine literature

Wasn't I a charming child? Of course, if this blog ever gets lost in the sands of internet time, and I find it 20 years later, I'll be very mad at myself for being a pretentious idiot.

Heh.

Given that I am not generally persuaded to show extreme emotion, the other night's post is a little embarrassing in retrospect. I'm not taking it off, nor denying that it happened, because it did, but let's just not speak of it, shall we?

Screw you too, PMS.



It may be because I've been battling with the dreaded syndrome these past few days, and thus am exceedingly melodramatic, but the most amazing thing happened to me tonight.

I was being very depressed, and furious over the loss of my sunglasses, when I went out for a run. So I'm jogging along, and I look up at the stars, because it's a clear night and that's what I do. I locate the first 2 constellations I know, and then I'm looking for Orion. He's near the horizon tonight, and as I follow the stars that make him down, my eyes run into the lights of the city of Lethbridge. And then, here comes the strange part, I start hyperventilating and bawling. I have to lean against a fence. God, the scope! I'm looking at these tiny stars and the distance between them, it's incredible! I wish I could descirbe it to you, the end of the constellation dipping into the city lights, and I realise that the universe is huge. Beyond comprehension. And use, everything on this Earth, the rape, the killings, the hatred, the extinctions and pollutions and sex and babies, it's nothing. We are the tiniest things, completely insignificant, less than a flicker in time, and yet we are made of the dust from stars, and we get to be a part of this amazing and wonderful universe. We'll have lived and died without the nearest star being aware of our being.


I'm sorry if this makes no sense. I'm still crying.

Me being a slime.

Hah, for a second I thought that February came after March, and I was wondering how I'd managed to miss an entire month in posting. But then I got smart again.

Ok, so, Life of Ali:

Went to a real bar, and got drunk! Yay! And I'm not embarrasing when drunk! Yay! And apparently I'm not such a light weight. I thought I was. Here is what I drank: Rum+Coke, Shot, A triple Rum and Coke, and 2 vodkas with orange juice, within 3 hours. And I remember the entire night, and I was in control of everything I said, and my inhibitions were lowered very minimally! There was an idiot cowboy there who kept coming to our table to flirt with the girls, even though he was there with his girlfriend, and I managed not to yell drunkenly at him.
I should say at this point that I'm glad I don't have many friends, and the ones I do have can't afford to drink that often, cause it was really fun and the sort of thing I'd see myself falling into. But don't worry, peoples, I'm keeping an eye on myself.

And more recently, today I got my drama mark back, and (bragging commences) I was the only person in the class who got a grade in the A range! Go me.

These next few weeks are going to be excruciatingly boring, as I only have 2 tests left, and they're not for 2 weeks yet. Blurg. Someone should come visit me.

Grrrr.

Okay, so Nomad/Redcard's recent blog post led me to do some research on male pregnancy. Yes, my mind works in mysterious ways. And I found a site from a medical centre devoted to this guy's pregnancy. And I was SUPER EXCITED. But then, after some research (because I always back up my sources. Always. So important. Ahem.) I have discovered that it is a social experiment. I loathe social experiments. Why do people lie about these things? They fabricate realities about important, ground-breaking, life altering things, and they let people believe it! They don't have any sort of disclaimer or anything! This pregnancy one was sort of easy to see through, because they had a live online sonogram, and that is just ridiculous, but I believed for a second at first.

Why do people trick other people? IT'S NOT NICE TO LIE.

Disclaimer: I do realise that social experiments are much, much more effective when the subjects are not aware of it and thus unbiased and uncensored, but that doesn't mean I have to bloody like it. So, um, not being a sociologist.

That's the link. If you want to see the deceit for yourself.

http://www.malepregnancy.com/



UPDATE: Later, I clicked on another link on that page, which took me to Genochoice, another fake dealy (only this one very obviously so.) The premise is that here you can create a DNA profile of your future child by scanning your and your partner's (or just your own, for a clone) DNA, and be able to fix any defects. Oh, and you scan your thumb, via your COMPUTER MONITOR. I'm not going to go into the science, but anyone with even a rudimentary high school education knows that nothing in the process is possible. No creating individual DNA profiles, no cloning, and certainly no monitor thumb scanning. Ha, and the "expert" was one Dr. Preatner, a prenatal geneticist, and if you look closely you'll note that "Preatner" and "prenatal" have almost exactly the same letters. Tricky.
So I figure, what the hay ride, I'll scan my thumbs. It has 4 options for scanning: CLONE, HETERO, HOMO1 (for lesbians - you need a man, too. Because they can clone, but evidently not fertilize an egg with genetic material from another egg without some sperm. There's the sexism for you.) HOMO2 (for gay men, who do not need a female donor present.) So I click HOMO1, and I have a baby with myself. It "scans" my thumbs - even though I removed them halfway through the process, thinking "Lord, I have my thumbs on my computer screen. This is so dumb." Then, it asks me to make a user name and password to access my results. My user name: H. My password: H. My results come up, and under the category "Behavioural Defects", number 1 on the list, at a risk of 98%, is the "defect" of homosexuality. While I am staring at this somewhat incredulously, Dr. Preatner says, from the safety of a quicktime file, "Hmmm. Doesn't look so good, does it?" I'm kind of angry at this point. Plus, you'd think that 2 lesbian parents wouldn't feel that homosexuality is that much of a defect, and that it would actually maybe fall just this side of preferable, because then they could relate better to their child? Not hating straight kids, though. Just sayin. Oh, and on the bottom, it says "Don't let your children inherit your genetic shortcomings! Upgrade your [gene] profile now!" I was really pissed off. I did HOMO1 again (because even though I am angry, I'm still insufferably scientific) and got a different result, so evidently it's random, because my new child does not have a risk of homosexuality at all - which makes me even angrier. Not only do they call gayness a genetic defect, but it apparently isn't even genetic! (Because you'd think that any child of 2 gay parents has got to have a chance of inheriting teh gay, if indeed it is genetic.)

Then, of course, you have the phony payment page, where you choose what you would like to get rid of/change/add, all for EXTREMELY ridiculous prices. I'm not even going to go into it; I think I've taken enough internet space talking about this...this....RARRGH.

Oh, but if you want to see what is wrong with your baby and therefore you, have at it: www.genochoice.com