Monday, April 19, 2010

Sharpie, medium point.

My house is a wreck, but I've decided not to think about it. Which is difficult, because right in front of me is a table covered in dirty dishes and energy drink cans, and OH HEY, a sharpie! What should I draw? I just watched Battlestar Galactica, and that is awesome, so that's a plan.



Yup, I drew the Galactica on my forearm with a permanent marker. AND IT LOOKS RAD. I think this is a candidate for a first tattoo, honestly. I would have to field constant questions about it and be constantly out-nerding myself, but that is something I do on a regular basis anyway. I told my brother that I might get it permanent, which he interpreted as I would get this exact drawing done. Please. I would at least move it so it doesn't half-hug my wrist like that. I do like the ghetto quality of the squiggly lines though.



And that is a Dalek, from Dr Who, that I immediately drew on my other arm. Joelle recommended it, which is of course me-code for dared me. I like it a lot, but I don't think I like Dr Who enough to get it immortalised.

I've wanted a tattoo since forever (so maybe 6 years), but have never settled on a design or body part long enough to actually follow through. This has saved me from having a scenic Turkish landscape emblazoned on my back, so I suppose my wishy-washyness has its benefits.
Which brings me to my point. These pictures inaugurate the new, mostly weekly, segment called My Permanent (Marker) Tattoos.
The rules are simple, my friends. Each time I put one of these posts up, you simply comment with a request for what I should draw next time. The final image is of course my discretion, but I will attempt to choose suggestions randomly. The placement is also of my choosing, so expect to see a lot of left arm and leg action. I hope this sounds like fun, like you are winning something, and less like a super awkward family reunion where your aunt asks you if you want to see her 14 albums of cat pictures and you say yes because you do not want to offend her.
Speaking of cat pictures.
Here is Bernard! As you can see he is thrilled that I have a working camera.



That's not very flattering, here is a better one.



I realise the focus is on the bell, and not his face. It's a new camera, OK? We haven't got to know each other yet.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

This is what happens when I am exposed to people.

M: I hate ironing.
Me: i hate....spiders
M: o.o Me too. Let's be friends.
Me: k
also i am drunk
i think you should know this if we are going to be friends
alcohoslfm.
M: Sigh. I'm trying to act surprised, but I got nothing.
I think you have a problem.
Me: i disagree
also the cat loves dirty jobs, apparently
also i coul stp when i wanted to
M: ...
Me: suhddup yo don own me
M: BUT IT'S YOUR BABY.
WHEN YOU GON' STAND UP AND BE A MAN.
Me: I'M GONNA SMACK YOU T' THE MOON IFN YEH DON' SHUTUP, WOMN. MAKE YERSEL USEFL AND GIT ME A SAMMICH.
M: ALL YOU WANT ARE SANDWICHES.
WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?
Me: YOUR NEEDS? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. YE'VE GOT THE KIDS, DON'T YAH?
M: HOW DO I KNOW THEY'RE ALL MINE?
I'M PRETTY SURE [myname] JR IS KOREAN OR SOMETHING.
Me: Y'ALL ARE CRAZY, I AIN'T BIRTHIN NO SPAWN. AND YAH SHUT ER MOUTH ABOOT JR, HE'S TAKIN OVER THE CONVIENCE STORE WHEN I DIE OR GO TO JAIL
M: YOU LOVE THAT CONVIENCE STORE MORE THAN ME.
I KNOW WHAT YOU DO WITH THE SLURPEE MACHINE WHEN I'M NOT THERE.
Me: THAT CONVIENCE STORE PAYS FOR YER FANCY CLOTHES. AND THE SLUSHEE MACHINE IS LESS FRIGID THAN YOO. I GOTTA GET SOME WARMTH AND UNDERSTANDIN SOMEWHAR.
M: IT ISN'T MY FAULT YOU HAD YOUR PUSSY SHOT OFF IN 'NAM.
Me: IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU LET IT RUIN OUR MARRIAGE! I CAN'T HELP IT IF YOU FIND ME REPULSIVE!
M: I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME AGAIN.
Me: AND I JUST WISH YOU EVER LOVED ME. I KNOW ABOUT YOUR PIECES ON THE SIDE, DAMMIT.
M: *SOBS* SOMEONE NEEDS TO FULFILL MY NEEDS.
JUST LOVE ME LIKE I LOVE YOU.
Me: AND I CAN'T, CAN I. BECAUSE I AM BROKEN.
M: LET ME FIX YOU
Me: *SOBS*
M: *SOB* LET ME FIX YOU. *HUG*
And, scene.
Me: where's my sandwich?

Monday, April 5, 2010

Books (a list from Joelle)

Here is a list of 100 books that the BBC estimated average people had only read 6 of. Bold the ones you have read and italicize the ones you are working on, then put a total at the end. Here's mine!

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy.
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth.
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt.
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Including the ones I have been working on, I've read 36 (I think). To be perfectly honest, some of those (like Swallows and Amazons) I've been working on for over a decade, but it counts. But as someone who hopes to make a living in this industry, I really should have read more of these.

I would be interested to see your results.