Monday, December 7, 2009
I want to gay marry this woman.
Keith Olbermann also has a very stirring speech on the passage of prop 8. It's therefore a little old, but I link it here in case you are interested.
Friday, November 27, 2009
A Tale of Woe and a Waste of Cocoa
So I decided at about midnight that yes, I was gonna give in and bake something, even though I've been trying not to eat so damn much. The problem with this plan was that we lack butter and eggs, both things you generally need. "No problem," I thought, "I'll just look up a vegan recipe on the Internet. Of course, we don't have any applesauce or egg substitute, so we'll just have to see..."
I found a suitable recipe (in that I had all the ingredients at hand) and began mixing it up. The recipe called for a cup of oil. "Screw that noise," I said to myself, and used only half a cup. This seemed to suffice, as the resulting batter/dough was still rather oily, and I shudder to imagine what it would have looked like had I used the full amount.
Roadblock number 2: I do not own an appropriate pan for squares. I generally use a round cake pan instead, only this time it seemed a little small. I pressed the dough into it (some oil leeching to the top and making me begin to regret this whole baking thing) and it seemed a little thick. "Oh well, I'll just put a pizza pan under it to catch any drips." (This turned out to be unnecessary; it didn't overflow.) I put it in the oven (in which I am continually forgetting to reposition the racks, so one is very high and the other very low, and it is NOT a convection) and set it for the minimum time (25min). It goes off, I check it, the centre is still a little gooey looking. I set it for the rest of the time (5 more min). It looks done, so I pull it out and let it cool on the counter.
Twenty minutes later, I remember it's there, and go to take a wedge. The middle is still dough, cleverly disguised under a layer of crust. Shoot. This has happened to me before, and it has never ended well. I recall a cookie pizza that was basically a pile of superheated dough. So I have a genius idea. Metal is an excellent conductor of heat, right? So if I embed a fork in the middle, it will facilitate cooking. I put it back in at a higher temperature for 15 more minutes. After that elapses, I take it out, and naturally reach for the fork. Turns out metal is an excellent conductor of heat. After jamming my hand in the freezer and almost having my fingers stick to a bag of peas, I put the damn brownies back in, getting seriously cheesed at this point. Fifteen more minutes, and it's still freakin' soup in the middle. I put it on the top shelf this time.
Now what happened next, I can only guess. Either the oven finally caught up and reached 400 degrees, or the top rack is MUCH hotter than the bottom, but either way when the timer goes off there is smoke slowly curling out of the vent. Wisely, I turn on the fan before opening the over. I doubt my neighbours would enjoy the dulcet tones of our smoke alarm at what is now 1:30 in the morning. Once I peeled the carbonised top layer off the barely cooked innards (seriously, I may have inadvertently created an extremely heat resistant polymer, call NASA) I have a bite, only to discover that it kinda tastes like oatmeal and wheat chaff.
I have never in my life been a worse cook. The only thing that could have made it worse is if it had overflowed, but at least then I would know that the damn thing was cooking. I figure the whole thing is karma for breaking my oath of no more baking.
And now the first two fingers of my left hand are rather full of pain, especially as I type. This weekend's term paper party is gonna be SO MUCH FUN.
ps. THE SCIENCE WAS SOUND
I found a suitable recipe (in that I had all the ingredients at hand) and began mixing it up. The recipe called for a cup of oil. "Screw that noise," I said to myself, and used only half a cup. This seemed to suffice, as the resulting batter/dough was still rather oily, and I shudder to imagine what it would have looked like had I used the full amount.
Roadblock number 2: I do not own an appropriate pan for squares. I generally use a round cake pan instead, only this time it seemed a little small. I pressed the dough into it (some oil leeching to the top and making me begin to regret this whole baking thing) and it seemed a little thick. "Oh well, I'll just put a pizza pan under it to catch any drips." (This turned out to be unnecessary; it didn't overflow.) I put it in the oven (in which I am continually forgetting to reposition the racks, so one is very high and the other very low, and it is NOT a convection) and set it for the minimum time (25min). It goes off, I check it, the centre is still a little gooey looking. I set it for the rest of the time (5 more min). It looks done, so I pull it out and let it cool on the counter.
Twenty minutes later, I remember it's there, and go to take a wedge. The middle is still dough, cleverly disguised under a layer of crust. Shoot. This has happened to me before, and it has never ended well. I recall a cookie pizza that was basically a pile of superheated dough. So I have a genius idea. Metal is an excellent conductor of heat, right? So if I embed a fork in the middle, it will facilitate cooking. I put it back in at a higher temperature for 15 more minutes. After that elapses, I take it out, and naturally reach for the fork. Turns out metal is an excellent conductor of heat. After jamming my hand in the freezer and almost having my fingers stick to a bag of peas, I put the damn brownies back in, getting seriously cheesed at this point. Fifteen more minutes, and it's still freakin' soup in the middle. I put it on the top shelf this time.
Now what happened next, I can only guess. Either the oven finally caught up and reached 400 degrees, or the top rack is MUCH hotter than the bottom, but either way when the timer goes off there is smoke slowly curling out of the vent. Wisely, I turn on the fan before opening the over. I doubt my neighbours would enjoy the dulcet tones of our smoke alarm at what is now 1:30 in the morning. Once I peeled the carbonised top layer off the barely cooked innards (seriously, I may have inadvertently created an extremely heat resistant polymer, call NASA) I have a bite, only to discover that it kinda tastes like oatmeal and wheat chaff.
I have never in my life been a worse cook. The only thing that could have made it worse is if it had overflowed, but at least then I would know that the damn thing was cooking. I figure the whole thing is karma for breaking my oath of no more baking.
And now the first two fingers of my left hand are rather full of pain, especially as I type. This weekend's term paper party is gonna be SO MUCH FUN.
ps. THE SCIENCE WAS SOUND
Friday, October 30, 2009
A Daily Poem
340 (280)
I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,
And Mourners to and fro
Kept treading--treading--till it seemed
That Sense was breaking through--
And when they all were seated,
A Service, like a Drum--
Kept beating--beating--till I thought
My Mind was going numb--
And then I heard them lift a Box
And creak across my Soul
With those same Boots of Lead, again,
Then Space--began to toll,
As all the Heavens were a Bell,
And Being, but an Ear,
And I, and Silence, some strange Race
Wrecked, solitary, here--
And then a Plank in Reason, broke,
And I dropped down, and down--
And hit a World, at every plunge,
And Finished knowing--then--
- Emily Dickinson
thoughts?
I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,
And Mourners to and fro
Kept treading--treading--till it seemed
That Sense was breaking through--
And when they all were seated,
A Service, like a Drum--
Kept beating--beating--till I thought
My Mind was going numb--
And then I heard them lift a Box
And creak across my Soul
With those same Boots of Lead, again,
Then Space--began to toll,
As all the Heavens were a Bell,
And Being, but an Ear,
And I, and Silence, some strange Race
Wrecked, solitary, here--
And then a Plank in Reason, broke,
And I dropped down, and down--
And hit a World, at every plunge,
And Finished knowing--then--
- Emily Dickinson
thoughts?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
3:22 AM
Yes, it's true, it really is that late. I don't know why I do this to myself.
It's been a very mixed bag of a week, for no interesting reason in particular.
It has come to my attention that most of the movies I enjoy the most have surreal or fantastical qualities. I have no idea why this didn't occur to me before, because now it seems quite obvious. A list for you:
Beetlejuice
Being John Malkovich
The Truman Show
Like Water for Chocolate
The City of Lost Children
The Gods Must Be Crazy
Mon Oncle
Aguirre The Wrath of God
Princess Mononoke
Heavenly Creatures
The Secret of Roan Inish
I consider these to be surrealism-lite, in that they all have a clear linear plot, and the abnormal or absurb elements never reach the extent where they obscure the rest of the story. Some of these are more closely related to fantasy, and many could be considered magical realism. It's true that when I first began A Hundred Years of Solitude in high school I didn't really like it, but the more I read the more I understood what it was doing, and the more I understood the more it seemed to appeal. What these movies have in common is an exploration of a reality so very similar to our own, and yet not. There are fantastic elements next to the mundane in the fabric of these universes, and thus are unremarkable. (A possible exception is Beetlejuice, but it had to be on the list.) The whole idea speaks to me in a very profound way, one that is difficult to articulate.
If you can recommend any other books or movies that you've run into, I'd be grateful.
Someday I'll find something more anecdotal (and thus entertaining) to talk about.
It's been a very mixed bag of a week, for no interesting reason in particular.
It has come to my attention that most of the movies I enjoy the most have surreal or fantastical qualities. I have no idea why this didn't occur to me before, because now it seems quite obvious. A list for you:
Beetlejuice
Being John Malkovich
The Truman Show
Like Water for Chocolate
The City of Lost Children
The Gods Must Be Crazy
Mon Oncle
Aguirre The Wrath of God
Princess Mononoke
Heavenly Creatures
The Secret of Roan Inish
I consider these to be surrealism-lite, in that they all have a clear linear plot, and the abnormal or absurb elements never reach the extent where they obscure the rest of the story. Some of these are more closely related to fantasy, and many could be considered magical realism. It's true that when I first began A Hundred Years of Solitude in high school I didn't really like it, but the more I read the more I understood what it was doing, and the more I understood the more it seemed to appeal. What these movies have in common is an exploration of a reality so very similar to our own, and yet not. There are fantastic elements next to the mundane in the fabric of these universes, and thus are unremarkable. (A possible exception is Beetlejuice, but it had to be on the list.) The whole idea speaks to me in a very profound way, one that is difficult to articulate.
If you can recommend any other books or movies that you've run into, I'd be grateful.
Someday I'll find something more anecdotal (and thus entertaining) to talk about.
Friday, October 23, 2009
They've just stopped trying.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but before/after ads are supposed to give you examples of real people (like you) and their results (which therefore could be yours also). Animating the results of your systems kinda seems counterintuitive, if you follow that logic.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
My thought places are empty.
Ok, tv rundown of shows I have been watching/stumbed upon.
Mercy: sucks
Trauma: sucks
How I Met Your Mother: good
It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia: good
Eastwick: sucks
Glee: meh
Family Guy: good
The Cleveland Show: sucks
Sorry for the copout dudes, but I have nothing interesting at all going on at the moment.
Mercy: sucks
Trauma: sucks
How I Met Your Mother: good
It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia: good
Eastwick: sucks
Glee: meh
Family Guy: good
The Cleveland Show: sucks
Sorry for the copout dudes, but I have nothing interesting at all going on at the moment.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
A Complete Guide to the Diagnosis of Sleep Deprivation
1. Subject exhibits a sense of detached euphoria, and may or may not jitter like she has Parkinson's.
2. Subject will unconsciously and furiously clench jaw, often to the point of pain.
3. Subject's extremities, particularly the feet, are cold and sore with reduced capillary reflex.
4. Subject appears to be smuggling large game animals in the bags under her eyes.
Symptoms brought about by the "all-nighter" phenomenon, which is in turn caused by chronic poor judgement and inadequate time management skills. Subject will likely demonstrate a propensity to avoid work through purposeful distraction, overcome only by approaching dawn and deadline.
Treatment as follows:
Sit.
Write.
Write more.
Eat.
Sleep.
Edit.
Write.
Edit.
Edit.
Never take more than 2 doses daily - treatment is to be spread out in the weeks approaching trigger events.
Should treatment fail, beat subject around the head with a big stick.
2. Subject will unconsciously and furiously clench jaw, often to the point of pain.
3. Subject's extremities, particularly the feet, are cold and sore with reduced capillary reflex.
4. Subject appears to be smuggling large game animals in the bags under her eyes.
Symptoms brought about by the "all-nighter" phenomenon, which is in turn caused by chronic poor judgement and inadequate time management skills. Subject will likely demonstrate a propensity to avoid work through purposeful distraction, overcome only by approaching dawn and deadline.
Treatment as follows:
Sit.
Write.
Write more.
Eat.
Sleep.
Edit.
Write.
Edit.
Edit.
Never take more than 2 doses daily - treatment is to be spread out in the weeks approaching trigger events.
Should treatment fail, beat subject around the head with a big stick.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Yesterday
For most of my life I severely and drastically misunderstood the lyrics of the Beatles' song "Yesterday". You know the part where Paul says "Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say. I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday"? Well, instead of the correct interpretation, where he says something wrong, I thought he meant he said "something wrong?" and she left him in a passive-aggressive fit of pique, because surely he should already know what was wrong. My version of this song seemed to speak deeply on the troubles of man/woman interaction, how signals are missed to tragic consequence, and how love is a great mystery. Imagine my humiliation when, like a bolt out of the blue, it occurred to me one day that I was making all that up.
Well, at least it wasn't like the first time I tried to sing Blinded by the Light.
And for another peek into the inner workings of my frail and mysterious psyche:
Yesterday night, when I was trying to get to sleep, I had one of those bizarre rage episodes. You know the ones, where you are half asleep but still beyond livid with something, filled with a consuming rage that makes it impossible to function? (Please say you know what I'm talking about, or at least nod soothingly.) This one was centred around a waking dream where there were too many pillows on my bed. Seriously, that's it. I just hated those GODDAMN FRAKKING PILLOWS JUST DIE ALREADY WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STUPID PILLOWS?
I, of course, eventually calmed when I woke enough to realise that I was sharing a bed with just the regular amount, and they were not conspiring to suffocate me.
I'd say it was brought on by being doped up on flu meds, but I don't have any. (In the house, I mean. But right now I'd kill for some. Damn you, bronchitis or whatever!)
Goodnight, my wonderfuls, and may your dreams be happy and pillow-free.
Well, at least it wasn't like the first time I tried to sing Blinded by the Light.
And for another peek into the inner workings of my frail and mysterious psyche:
Yesterday night, when I was trying to get to sleep, I had one of those bizarre rage episodes. You know the ones, where you are half asleep but still beyond livid with something, filled with a consuming rage that makes it impossible to function? (Please say you know what I'm talking about, or at least nod soothingly.) This one was centred around a waking dream where there were too many pillows on my bed. Seriously, that's it. I just hated those GODDAMN FRAKKING PILLOWS JUST DIE ALREADY WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STUPID PILLOWS?
I, of course, eventually calmed when I woke enough to realise that I was sharing a bed with just the regular amount, and they were not conspiring to suffocate me.
I'd say it was brought on by being doped up on flu meds, but I don't have any. (In the house, I mean. But right now I'd kill for some. Damn you, bronchitis or whatever!)
Goodnight, my wonderfuls, and may your dreams be happy and pillow-free.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
The great big oops, or What I did on my Summer Vacation
For the past couple weeks, I've been vacationing on the lovely Vancouver Island, visiting my grandparents. Fun was had, sticks tossed in the ocean, minimal money spent (it's a good thing to vacation with your parents, because they will buy your meals.) Partway through, however, my computer decided that it had had enough of its thankless life, and gave up. In the fixing process, once I returned home, I lost everything I had saved. Not a big deal, really, but I have now learned the importance of backing up. I am now re-writing my short story, which is a good thing as it's rekindled my interest and thus enabled me to see why I was having trouble with the last draft. So in lieu of that, here is an anecdote from my time away.
My grandparents have several screen doors, one of which opens on the pool patio. My sibs and I were preparing for a swim, and the dog was outside. I looked up, for no particular reason, and saw that the dog had his ball in his mouth, and was eagerly dashing for the door to show us. As I'm sure you can guess, he did not notice the screen. With the sound of a gunshot, he collided at top speed (and he is a big dog). The entire door popped off its tracks, and the dog disappeared upstairs, tail between his legs. We put the frame on, no problem, and I went up after him. I found him curled up in a corner, and I tell you it's impossible to anthropomorphise, because he was clearly extremely embarrassed. He didn't look at me, or wag his tail, or anything. A few treats coaxed him out of his funk, but he still wouldn't come downstairs and was very wary of doors. This inspired much babytalk on my part, along the lines of "Aww, who's a silly puppy? You're soooo embarrassed, aren't you. Poor doggy dog. You were so happy with your ball and now you are so sad, awww."
Not five minutes later, on her way out to the pool, guess who walked straight into the exact same door and unhinged it again? That's right, yours truly.
At least the dog felt better after he saw that.
My grandparents have several screen doors, one of which opens on the pool patio. My sibs and I were preparing for a swim, and the dog was outside. I looked up, for no particular reason, and saw that the dog had his ball in his mouth, and was eagerly dashing for the door to show us. As I'm sure you can guess, he did not notice the screen. With the sound of a gunshot, he collided at top speed (and he is a big dog). The entire door popped off its tracks, and the dog disappeared upstairs, tail between his legs. We put the frame on, no problem, and I went up after him. I found him curled up in a corner, and I tell you it's impossible to anthropomorphise, because he was clearly extremely embarrassed. He didn't look at me, or wag his tail, or anything. A few treats coaxed him out of his funk, but he still wouldn't come downstairs and was very wary of doors. This inspired much babytalk on my part, along the lines of "Aww, who's a silly puppy? You're soooo embarrassed, aren't you. Poor doggy dog. You were so happy with your ball and now you are so sad, awww."
Not five minutes later, on her way out to the pool, guess who walked straight into the exact same door and unhinged it again? That's right, yours truly.
At least the dog felt better after he saw that.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Slipped the leash.
So my story that I've been not shutting up about is now about 2000 words, and will likely exceed 3000 when it's at last finished. I am plugging away regularly though, and I hope to have it up within a week.
A note on tv (again): There is a show called True Blood, you may have heard about it. It sounds like something I should like, so I occasionally try and keep up with it. Lots of swearing, people lying to each other, nudity, blood. (Wow, and now it sounds like I just listed the things I like. I meant fantasy, people. It's about vampires, okay?)
Anyway, as I was changing into my bike clothes and trying to remember not to put my pants on inside-out, I had a thought. True Blood- a pretty badass name, no? But blood is literally the only bodily fluid that is badass. True Bile? Vomit. True Spit? No. True Tears? Sounds like a barrel of laughs. True Pee? A fetish film. Maybe it is already. It would take a braver soul than I to google it. The only thing that approaches blood's monopoly on awesome is sweat, but True Sweat seems more suited to a reality show about bodybuilders on Spike tv, which is only badass until you realise that most bodybuilders are very strange people who have life goals amounting to walking on a stage, to music, in a speedo, in order for someone to pat them on the back, give them a sack of money, and say "Congratulations. You have the scariest veins ever. Please wash off that fake tan the instant you get back home?"
More blogging anon.
A note on tv (again): There is a show called True Blood, you may have heard about it. It sounds like something I should like, so I occasionally try and keep up with it. Lots of swearing, people lying to each other, nudity, blood. (Wow, and now it sounds like I just listed the things I like. I meant fantasy, people. It's about vampires, okay?)
Anyway, as I was changing into my bike clothes and trying to remember not to put my pants on inside-out, I had a thought. True Blood- a pretty badass name, no? But blood is literally the only bodily fluid that is badass. True Bile? Vomit. True Spit? No. True Tears? Sounds like a barrel of laughs. True Pee? A fetish film. Maybe it is already. It would take a braver soul than I to google it. The only thing that approaches blood's monopoly on awesome is sweat, but True Sweat seems more suited to a reality show about bodybuilders on Spike tv, which is only badass until you realise that most bodybuilders are very strange people who have life goals amounting to walking on a stage, to music, in a speedo, in order for someone to pat them on the back, give them a sack of money, and say "Congratulations. You have the scariest veins ever. Please wash off that fake tan the instant you get back home?"
More blogging anon.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
So no story yesterday (or today, for that matter.) Turns out I was way off in my length estimations, haha. And going to the game instead of writing wasn't helpful. (Worth it though - they won big.)
The other day when I mentioned to mother that maybe I'd like to submit a short story to a magazine one day, she scoffed. An actual scoff. There is a lot of motivation right there, if only in the form of show-up-itude.
The other day when I mentioned to mother that maybe I'd like to submit a short story to a magazine one day, she scoffed. An actual scoff. There is a lot of motivation right there, if only in the form of show-up-itude.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
A Public Service Announcement.
A short post today, as I still have 500+ words to crank out before I feel satisfied enough to sleep, and boy do I need sleep.
Despite my oft-repeated and clearly accurate statement that I should be in charge of tv, I really don't watch that much of it. There are a few shows that are articulate, thoughtful, well acted, and all around good quality, but most of them fail to hold my interest. This is a fault of mine, not these shows. The rest of tv panders to either the lowest common denominator, or at least the second lowest. Whenever I say this, I always feel very superior and pretentious, but I DO NOT like these sorts of shows. And clearly someone does, because they are often the shows that do well enough to linger, while the truly unique shows (The Unusuals, Wonderfalls, to name some off the top of my head) never do well, particularly on mainstream prime time. Some of the shows I dislike, in case you were wondering, include Ghost Whisperer, CSI, 99% of reality programming and talent shows, and South Park.
On to the point of this diatribe; I have discovered a show that not only do I enjoy, but I make sure I see every single episode, some more than once (praise the DVR!) That show, dear friends, is Nurse Jackie.
I hear your objections already:
Wait, what is this? I've never heard of it!
Puh-lease, another show about a medical professional addicted to painkillers?
Puh-lease, another show about medical professionals?
But I don't really like Edie Falco...
Ok, a) It's a show about a nurse. Named Jackie. And her friends and patients and husband and children and boyfriend and crippling back pain.
b) She could stop if she wanted too! Shut up!
c) Well, SOMETHING had to take the place of ER. It left a void (admittedly the void was there several years before they finally pulled the plug, but I digress.)
d) You are a crazy person. Watch it and have your mind broadened.
These clips will conclude my (hopefully convincing) recommendation:
Despite my oft-repeated and clearly accurate statement that I should be in charge of tv, I really don't watch that much of it. There are a few shows that are articulate, thoughtful, well acted, and all around good quality, but most of them fail to hold my interest. This is a fault of mine, not these shows. The rest of tv panders to either the lowest common denominator, or at least the second lowest. Whenever I say this, I always feel very superior and pretentious, but I DO NOT like these sorts of shows. And clearly someone does, because they are often the shows that do well enough to linger, while the truly unique shows (The Unusuals, Wonderfalls, to name some off the top of my head) never do well, particularly on mainstream prime time. Some of the shows I dislike, in case you were wondering, include Ghost Whisperer, CSI, 99% of reality programming and talent shows, and South Park.
On to the point of this diatribe; I have discovered a show that not only do I enjoy, but I make sure I see every single episode, some more than once (praise the DVR!) That show, dear friends, is Nurse Jackie.
I hear your objections already:
Wait, what is this? I've never heard of it!
Puh-lease, another show about a medical professional addicted to painkillers?
Puh-lease, another show about medical professionals?
But I don't really like Edie Falco...
Ok, a) It's a show about a nurse. Named Jackie. And her friends and patients and husband and children and boyfriend and crippling back pain.
b) She could stop if she wanted too! Shut up!
c) Well, SOMETHING had to take the place of ER. It left a void (admittedly the void was there several years before they finally pulled the plug, but I digress.)
d) You are a crazy person. Watch it and have your mind broadened.
These clips will conclude my (hopefully convincing) recommendation:
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
A sheepish hi.
March? Really, March? I amaze myself sometimes.
So I'm not sure if I actually have anything worth blogging, or perhaps I am just out of practice and really there is a cornucopia of magical and amusing anecdotes to tell you and I just need to access them. I dunno.
As far back as my memory goes, that is to say lunchtime, nothing particularly wonderful has happened. Today.
I have finally devised a life plan though.
I know, right? Me, actually deciding for once what I want to do with my life? Redonk!
It is, of course, not the most practical of life plans, but I have never been the most practical of people, certainly in terms of goal setting/attaining. (See last post.)
The idea is to become an actor/writer, failing that just a writer, and while I wait for my fingers to crank out the next great Canadian novel, working in the publishing industry. I don't know yet in what capacity, but I expect I'll have a few gruelling years as an intern to figure that out.
And since writers write, I have actually made a go of this. I've been slowly plugging away at what I hope will turn out to be a full length novel. While I am doing this, I figure I'd take a page from Liam's book and write short stories to put on this blog. a), it'll give you people something to read, and b) it'll give my somewhere to channel energy and practice when I'm feeling blocked on my book.
A caveat -
I am ridiculously insecure about my writing. This is a major part of why I haven't written in the past, as this is perhaps the one realm of my life in which I am irritatingly perfectionist. My worries (concerning fiction, anyway) is that it will be singularly uninteresting and lacking any sort of engaging conflict. That being said, I'm not looking for reassurances, but rather critiques and criticisms and HONESTY from you guys. That may seem counter-intuitive on the surface, but I think it will help me grow as a writer. The opinions of people you trust can be a damn powerful motivating tool.
I've got a story on the drawing (writing?) board right now, expect it Thursday or Friday.
And now I bid you adieu. I must brush my teeth and kick a snoring dog off my bed.
So I'm not sure if I actually have anything worth blogging, or perhaps I am just out of practice and really there is a cornucopia of magical and amusing anecdotes to tell you and I just need to access them. I dunno.
As far back as my memory goes, that is to say lunchtime, nothing particularly wonderful has happened. Today.
I have finally devised a life plan though.
I know, right? Me, actually deciding for once what I want to do with my life? Redonk!
It is, of course, not the most practical of life plans, but I have never been the most practical of people, certainly in terms of goal setting/attaining. (See last post.)
The idea is to become an actor/writer, failing that just a writer, and while I wait for my fingers to crank out the next great Canadian novel, working in the publishing industry. I don't know yet in what capacity, but I expect I'll have a few gruelling years as an intern to figure that out.
And since writers write, I have actually made a go of this. I've been slowly plugging away at what I hope will turn out to be a full length novel. While I am doing this, I figure I'd take a page from Liam's book and write short stories to put on this blog. a), it'll give you people something to read, and b) it'll give my somewhere to channel energy and practice when I'm feeling blocked on my book.
A caveat -
I am ridiculously insecure about my writing. This is a major part of why I haven't written in the past, as this is perhaps the one realm of my life in which I am irritatingly perfectionist. My worries (concerning fiction, anyway) is that it will be singularly uninteresting and lacking any sort of engaging conflict. That being said, I'm not looking for reassurances, but rather critiques and criticisms and HONESTY from you guys. That may seem counter-intuitive on the surface, but I think it will help me grow as a writer. The opinions of people you trust can be a damn powerful motivating tool.
I've got a story on the drawing (writing?) board right now, expect it Thursday or Friday.
And now I bid you adieu. I must brush my teeth and kick a snoring dog off my bed.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Operation: Reinvention
As a part of my plan to fill my days with something other than nothing, I've decided to add a physical component to self-improvement. Do some hardware changes in addition to the software, yanno? It's a really intelligent time to start, too: term paper season. I like to make it easier for myself whenever I can.
I'm sure some of you recall my past fitness resolutions and how I promptly stop mentioning them a couple weeks after I make them. Rest assured, it's not because I was saving you from having to read about the meaningless minutiae of my life, but rather because I didn't actually stick to them. It attempts to combat this problem, I have turned to the Internet, and discovered two programs to begin: The Couch to 5K Running Plan and The Hundred Push Ups Training Program. In both, I am at level 0. I've decided to remove the day-offs from the running plan, and instead take a break every 3 days instead. Time will tell how this pays off. I also cannot do enough good form pushups to begin the other one, so I'm gonna have to train in order to be able to train. Being weak sucks.
Once I have completed these programs, school will be over and I'll be back at home, where I will begin actually using equipment. Yes, the blowflex. I think I'll also continue running, and bring the dog, but it depends where I'm working and how intense the bike ride will be. Once the pushups are done, I'm planning to start working on The Prison Workout in addition to bowflexing, running and biking.
Ambitious, no?
I have always wanted to be physically strong, and since my little brothers have become stronger than me, which of course they weren't for the majority of my life, this desire has grown. I envy the complete control strong people have over their bodies, and showing up my brothers is of course a nice bonus. It's time to stop wondering when a genie is going to come along and grant my wish (yes, this was my actual plan) and start doing something about it.
If any of you want to long distance workout with me, that'd be cool. I think you should definitely torture yourselves to motivate me and provide moral support.
Pictures from my Camera
These are Roman ruins on a mountaintop in Turkey. Seriously, the top. of a mountain. There was an amphitheatre and everything.
Dogs escaping the midday heat on nice cool marble right outside the doors of the Athens Museum.
The famous Blue Mosque in Istanbul. A really cool place, but ladies bring your headscarves is you want to look inside (and you do).
I'm sure some of you recall my past fitness resolutions and how I promptly stop mentioning them a couple weeks after I make them. Rest assured, it's not because I was saving you from having to read about the meaningless minutiae of my life, but rather because I didn't actually stick to them. It attempts to combat this problem, I have turned to the Internet, and discovered two programs to begin: The Couch to 5K Running Plan and The Hundred Push Ups Training Program. In both, I am at level 0. I've decided to remove the day-offs from the running plan, and instead take a break every 3 days instead. Time will tell how this pays off. I also cannot do enough good form pushups to begin the other one, so I'm gonna have to train in order to be able to train. Being weak sucks.
Once I have completed these programs, school will be over and I'll be back at home, where I will begin actually using equipment. Yes, the blowflex. I think I'll also continue running, and bring the dog, but it depends where I'm working and how intense the bike ride will be. Once the pushups are done, I'm planning to start working on The Prison Workout in addition to bowflexing, running and biking.
Ambitious, no?
I have always wanted to be physically strong, and since my little brothers have become stronger than me, which of course they weren't for the majority of my life, this desire has grown. I envy the complete control strong people have over their bodies, and showing up my brothers is of course a nice bonus. It's time to stop wondering when a genie is going to come along and grant my wish (yes, this was my actual plan) and start doing something about it.
If any of you want to long distance workout with me, that'd be cool. I think you should definitely torture yourselves to motivate me and provide moral support.
Pictures from my Camera
These are Roman ruins on a mountaintop in Turkey. Seriously, the top. of a mountain. There was an amphitheatre and everything.
Dogs escaping the midday heat on nice cool marble right outside the doors of the Athens Museum.
The famous Blue Mosque in Istanbul. A really cool place, but ladies bring your headscarves is you want to look inside (and you do).
Friday, March 20, 2009
The witty title is the hardest part.
Hey guys! For fun, I was going to give you a list of the things I do in my week. Then I realised that it's not funny-pathetic, it's pathetic-pathetic, and decided not to. True story.
Another thing that is pathetic is that I signed up for a visitor counting service for this blog, because I have long laboured under the hope (false, as it turns out) that I have a hoard of lurking fans who constantly check to see if I've updated.
Since I signed up, the visitors to my blog have been exactly 0.
Why doesn't the universe worship me and fulfill my every whim like I want it too?
(Bitch bitch bitch)
Pictures from my Camera
As promised, my house. This is the kitchen. Yeah, the entire place is either really hard to photograph, or I suck. It's 50/50.
These are the stairs and the door. And my shoes.
Another angle of the kitchen! Now there is a table covered in 50 lbs of old newspaper.
The living/tv room. And also the dog. And porch.
The bathroom, as you can see, is complete with toilet paper and soap, left by the previous tenant.
I would show you the bedrooms, but at the point I took pictures, they are completely empty and very boring.
Another thing that is pathetic is that I signed up for a visitor counting service for this blog, because I have long laboured under the hope (false, as it turns out) that I have a hoard of lurking fans who constantly check to see if I've updated.
Since I signed up, the visitors to my blog have been exactly 0.
Why doesn't the universe worship me and fulfill my every whim like I want it too?
(Bitch bitch bitch)
Pictures from my Camera
As promised, my house. This is the kitchen. Yeah, the entire place is either really hard to photograph, or I suck. It's 50/50.
These are the stairs and the door. And my shoes.
Another angle of the kitchen! Now there is a table covered in 50 lbs of old newspaper.
The living/tv room. And also the dog. And porch.
The bathroom, as you can see, is complete with toilet paper and soap, left by the previous tenant.
I would show you the bedrooms, but at the point I took pictures, they are completely empty and very boring.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
My mouth tastes like old coffee and battery acid.
So I'm pretty sure some of you have noticed and been irritated by the complete dearth of blog posts lately. This is due to several factors, foremost among them being the horrendous case of academic writer's block I seem to be suffering, and when I can't do assignments it doesn't really feel fair to blog or draw. Which sucks. So I am making a determined effort to get me life more organised, my house clean, and attempt to do something creative every day so I can turn my brain back to ON.
I have discovered the cord to my camera, so now I can show you guys pictures! I won't be able to give you current ones, and my camera is brain damaged or something, but I've got a couple hundred (mostly from vacation and of dog) that should keep me occupied for a bit. Youve got that right, this means a new segment! (I need to make a list, and at some point I'll start tagging stuff.)
Pictures from My Camera! (Click to embiggen)
This is Riker being a milkmaid or something.
These are the gates at Buckingham Palace. I also saw some corgis on the grounds, but I wasn't quick enough on the draw.
And this is the mighty Acropolis. It may even be the Parthenon, but I need to refresh my Ancient Greek architecture. (Shameful that I don't know.) I'm pretty sure it is, cause you can kinda see some scaffolding. They were restoring it.
Next time: Pictures of my new house.
I have discovered the cord to my camera, so now I can show you guys pictures! I won't be able to give you current ones, and my camera is brain damaged or something, but I've got a couple hundred (mostly from vacation and of dog) that should keep me occupied for a bit. Youve got that right, this means a new segment! (I need to make a list, and at some point I'll start tagging stuff.)
Pictures from My Camera! (Click to embiggen)
This is Riker being a milkmaid or something.
These are the gates at Buckingham Palace. I also saw some corgis on the grounds, but I wasn't quick enough on the draw.
And this is the mighty Acropolis. It may even be the Parthenon, but I need to refresh my Ancient Greek architecture. (Shameful that I don't know.) I'm pretty sure it is, cause you can kinda see some scaffolding. They were restoring it.
Next time: Pictures of my new house.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
25 things about me
So this meme (or whatever they're called) has been going around, and I finally got tagged on facebook, but I thought I'd put it here with slightly different answers before I edit it and (maybe) put it up there.
1. Sometimes I stay up all night, because I can and also because I'm afraid of running out of time.
2. I have a, hopefully irrational, fear that my irregular sleeping habits will make me more at risk for degenerative brain diseases when I'm older.
3. Blogging kind of makes me uncomfortable, because it's all about me and I cannot fathom anybody being that interested in my life. It's a lot of pressure to entertain.
4. I sometimes like to imagine what the world would be like today had the Edict of Milan never existed.
5. I've never been more introspective than when I was in 1st year, the worst time of my life.
6. In order to feel motivated to do something, I have to feel there's a good reason. It could be just altruism, but there has to be a reason that I feel makes my effort worthwhile.
7. I'm a big ol' feminist, and all around equalist.
8. I really don't like or agree with any of the labels that could theoretically be applied to me.
9. I wish I could be paid to learn things - book knowledge and experience knowledge and physical knowledge (like sports/ martial arts)
10. Despite disagreeing at an ideological level with the founding principles of the movies, I thoroughly enjoyed both Death Race and The House Bunny (and I won't feel guilty about it.)
11. When I was little I tried to figure out how to pee standing up. It really doesn't work.
12. You mess with my friends, I mess with you.
13. I love a clean house, but hate cleaning (don't we all?)
14. I don't follow any shows because a) I never know when they're on and b) there's usually a game on at the same time. Despite this, the tv is usually on for a couple hours a day, even just as background noise.
15. I pride myself on being open-minded and accepting (although I have issues with the word)
16. I don't feel like I can be myself around my family. I've never been that close to them (don't get me wrong, I love them dearly).
17. I want dogs and I want to travel, and those things don't really mix. So I'm gonna have to get my traveling done sooner rather than later.
18. Sometime in my life I want to live with a friend.
19. I want to roadtrip somewhere this summer with my peeps, and we will sing along with ABBA and mixed cds.
20. After I graduate, I want to spend some time just having fun - traveling, doing out-of-character things.
21. My favourite food has got to be the DQ Blizzard, or similar style milkshakes. Healthy, no?
22. I like to peruse craigslist, despite knowing I'll never actually respond/buy anything.
23. I can never have too many graphic t-shirts.
24. Of all the superpowers, I wish I could stop time (and shapeshift).
25. I still can't drive.
Yay, you finished!
1. Sometimes I stay up all night, because I can and also because I'm afraid of running out of time.
2. I have a, hopefully irrational, fear that my irregular sleeping habits will make me more at risk for degenerative brain diseases when I'm older.
3. Blogging kind of makes me uncomfortable, because it's all about me and I cannot fathom anybody being that interested in my life. It's a lot of pressure to entertain.
4. I sometimes like to imagine what the world would be like today had the Edict of Milan never existed.
5. I've never been more introspective than when I was in 1st year, the worst time of my life.
6. In order to feel motivated to do something, I have to feel there's a good reason. It could be just altruism, but there has to be a reason that I feel makes my effort worthwhile.
7. I'm a big ol' feminist, and all around equalist.
8. I really don't like or agree with any of the labels that could theoretically be applied to me.
9. I wish I could be paid to learn things - book knowledge and experience knowledge and physical knowledge (like sports/ martial arts)
10. Despite disagreeing at an ideological level with the founding principles of the movies, I thoroughly enjoyed both Death Race and The House Bunny (and I won't feel guilty about it.)
11. When I was little I tried to figure out how to pee standing up. It really doesn't work.
12. You mess with my friends, I mess with you.
13. I love a clean house, but hate cleaning (don't we all?)
14. I don't follow any shows because a) I never know when they're on and b) there's usually a game on at the same time. Despite this, the tv is usually on for a couple hours a day, even just as background noise.
15. I pride myself on being open-minded and accepting (although I have issues with the word)
16. I don't feel like I can be myself around my family. I've never been that close to them (don't get me wrong, I love them dearly).
17. I want dogs and I want to travel, and those things don't really mix. So I'm gonna have to get my traveling done sooner rather than later.
18. Sometime in my life I want to live with a friend.
19. I want to roadtrip somewhere this summer with my peeps, and we will sing along with ABBA and mixed cds.
20. After I graduate, I want to spend some time just having fun - traveling, doing out-of-character things.
21. My favourite food has got to be the DQ Blizzard, or similar style milkshakes. Healthy, no?
22. I like to peruse craigslist, despite knowing I'll never actually respond/buy anything.
23. I can never have too many graphic t-shirts.
24. Of all the superpowers, I wish I could stop time (and shapeshift).
25. I still can't drive.
Yay, you finished!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Operation Cheesy Annhilation
So in between keeping myself up at night and bemoaning my inadequacies, occasionally something happens that won't be tedious to read about, and this is one of those times.
For a project of his, my brother had to make a sphere, a cube, and a cone out of uncommon building materials. For the sphere, he chose Cheesies. Picture, if you will, a soggy, squishy ball about the size of a baby's head, looking not unlike a very orange brain. It got marked today, and he brought it home, and immediately his first though was "let's burn it." But seriously, what else were we gonna do? Fire is awesome.
This is how we found ourselves standing on the porch in front of the barbecue at night, attempting to light this abomination of dairy with a bic. After a few false starts, it caught, and boy was it brilliant. It burned with intense, bright flames for about 10 minutes, and then the flames crawled inside and began to make serious headway on the white-glue saturated interior. The smoke was absolutely noxious, and you could hear the cheesy embers sizzling and shriveling until they lost most of their mass and looked like little ash caterpillars.
It was after a futile attempt to get the other side going when we gave up, dowsed it in water, and now here I am, writing to you, and smelling quite strongly that I've been smoking something very mysterious.
For a project of his, my brother had to make a sphere, a cube, and a cone out of uncommon building materials. For the sphere, he chose Cheesies. Picture, if you will, a soggy, squishy ball about the size of a baby's head, looking not unlike a very orange brain. It got marked today, and he brought it home, and immediately his first though was "let's burn it." But seriously, what else were we gonna do? Fire is awesome.
This is how we found ourselves standing on the porch in front of the barbecue at night, attempting to light this abomination of dairy with a bic. After a few false starts, it caught, and boy was it brilliant. It burned with intense, bright flames for about 10 minutes, and then the flames crawled inside and began to make serious headway on the white-glue saturated interior. The smoke was absolutely noxious, and you could hear the cheesy embers sizzling and shriveling until they lost most of their mass and looked like little ash caterpillars.
It was after a futile attempt to get the other side going when we gave up, dowsed it in water, and now here I am, writing to you, and smelling quite strongly that I've been smoking something very mysterious.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
A "Major" Dilemma
Wow, blogging at home alone on a Saturday night... I need some friends. Or just one friend.
Okay, on topic now.
Whenever I tell people I'm taking anthropology as a major, they always ask me what I'm gonna do with it, and my answer is usually "no idea". I really love learning about anthropology, and astronomy and archaeology and geography and basically everything I take. The problem here is that I don't want to BE an anthropologist, or an archaeologist, or anything in the university applicable careers. I did want to be a writer or an editor, but I completely ditched English as a major. (Not that English really applies there.)
So right now, I guess my life plan is learning, and continuing to jump from summer job to summer job, in the hopes that eventually I'll land somewhere I really like. And I suppose I could give the whole writing thing a serious try - at least it'll be fun.
Okay, on topic now.
Whenever I tell people I'm taking anthropology as a major, they always ask me what I'm gonna do with it, and my answer is usually "no idea". I really love learning about anthropology, and astronomy and archaeology and geography and basically everything I take. The problem here is that I don't want to BE an anthropologist, or an archaeologist, or anything in the university applicable careers. I did want to be a writer or an editor, but I completely ditched English as a major. (Not that English really applies there.)
So right now, I guess my life plan is learning, and continuing to jump from summer job to summer job, in the hopes that eventually I'll land somewhere I really like. And I suppose I could give the whole writing thing a serious try - at least it'll be fun.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
So over the past few weeks I have, unintentionally and unconsciously, turned myself nocturnal. I was staying up late all through the holidays, and once the semester booted up that didn't change. I'd just started having naps when I got home. It's come to the point where if I get to bed before 4 in the morning it's a really good day, and my naps have stretched into 5 hour marathons.
Needless to say, I haven't been very productive AT ALL, and let me tell you, your brain actually needs sleep to, like, think. So tonight I hope to get to bed at the very latest midnight, and try to turn this crazy bus around.
The Daily 'Dote
The other day, as I waited for class seated on a bench - dozing with my head in my hands - I heard a voice:
"Have you ever done that?"
No response seemed to be forthcoming, so I lifted me head and looked around. The only person remotely near me was a middle aged women the exact proportion of a pear standing several metres away, and staring at the climbing wall in front of us. Assuming at this point she was talking to me but still doubting I'd heard what I'd heard, I mustered up the clever response of "Hmmmah?" When there was no reaction, I tried again with an actual word. "Pardon?"
"Have you ever done that?" She said again.
"Uuhhh, no."
"Me neither." And then she wandered off, and I went back to sleep.
Also, a question for you; is "whatever" the new "like"? I heard this the other day, with whatever retaining the delightful upwards questioning inflection that goes with like.
"I was in the cafeteria or whatever?, and getting a smoothie or whatever?, when I totally had an idea."
I am terrified by this possibility.
Needless to say, I haven't been very productive AT ALL, and let me tell you, your brain actually needs sleep to, like, think. So tonight I hope to get to bed at the very latest midnight, and try to turn this crazy bus around.
The Daily 'Dote
The other day, as I waited for class seated on a bench - dozing with my head in my hands - I heard a voice:
"Have you ever done that?"
No response seemed to be forthcoming, so I lifted me head and looked around. The only person remotely near me was a middle aged women the exact proportion of a pear standing several metres away, and staring at the climbing wall in front of us. Assuming at this point she was talking to me but still doubting I'd heard what I'd heard, I mustered up the clever response of "Hmmmah?" When there was no reaction, I tried again with an actual word. "Pardon?"
"Have you ever done that?" She said again.
"Uuhhh, no."
"Me neither." And then she wandered off, and I went back to sleep.
Also, a question for you; is "whatever" the new "like"? I heard this the other day, with whatever retaining the delightful upwards questioning inflection that goes with like.
"I was in the cafeteria or whatever?, and getting a smoothie or whatever?, when I totally had an idea."
I am terrified by this possibility.
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