Operation Cheesy Annhilation

So in between keeping myself up at night and bemoaning my inadequacies, occasionally something happens that won't be tedious to read about, and this is one of those times.

For a project of his, my brother had to make a sphere, a cube, and a cone out of uncommon building materials. For the sphere, he chose Cheesies. Picture, if you will, a soggy, squishy ball about the size of a baby's head, looking not unlike a very orange brain. It got marked today, and he brought it home, and immediately his first though was "let's burn it." But seriously, what else were we gonna do? Fire is awesome.

This is how we found ourselves standing on the porch in front of the barbecue at night, attempting to light this abomination of dairy with a bic. After a few false starts, it caught, and boy was it brilliant. It burned with intense, bright flames for about 10 minutes, and then the flames crawled inside and began to make serious headway on the white-glue saturated interior. The smoke was absolutely noxious, and you could hear the cheesy embers sizzling and shriveling until they lost most of their mass and looked like little ash caterpillars.

It was after a futile attempt to get the other side going when we gave up, dowsed it in water, and now here I am, writing to you, and smelling quite strongly that I've been smoking something very mysterious.