Yello!

So, does anyone want a free book? I just finished "Serenity Bay", bought for 2 dollars from a bargain bin, and I am never going to read it again. I mean, it was well written and all, and I'm sure there are a lot of people who like it and connect with it, but I really did not relate.

It's the story of a woman who marries a man who turns out to be abusive, and only leaves him after he starts to hurt their kids. She then becomes independent and such, which I approve of, but then he kidnaps their kids and here come my issues.

1. She didn't leave him the first time he hit her. This doesn't make me angry at her so much as at our society.
2. When she didn't immediately find her kids, she tries to kill herself. Because, in her own words, she is nothing without her kids. I think motherhood is great and all, but no person, IMHO, should ever be defined by another.
3. She found salvation in the Lord. Don't have a problem with religion, or the power of belief to get you through situations, but when the entire last quarter of a book is about Jesus and His power to heal His people, well, it just ain't my cup o tea, folks. I get it that some people deal with crisis through finding the Lord, but it didn't need to be quite so heavy handed. You can live without Him too, y'know. And the preponderance of capitalization, which I have just demonstrated - is that the standard? Somehow it grates me. Wow this is making me sound like a jerk.

To clear it up, this book is fiction and she gets her kids back. So, anybody want it? Free book? No?

Bitchin' about brothers.

So, I'm really tired and hormonal and cramping like a mo fo and my brothers want to play basketball with them, and I did say I'd try and learn to get better. So at the end of a long day at the end of a long week, I get to be reminded at how much I suck at everything my brothers value. And then L called me a bitch, or technically "to stop acting like a bitch", because he insisted there was a difference, and I left, and got the traditional "oh, there she goes, she never tries hard at anything" response, so I collected myself and went back out, only to go back in 2 minutes later; I said I was tired when P kept telling me to run faster, and L goes "oh, you're saying you work harder than dad?" Not what I meant, and I may have overreacted slighty with the "F-you" rejoinder, but I just don't know what to do.
They want me to be good at their sports, which I'm really not, and they seem amazed when I don't get better with their suggestions, so it is all my fault that I'm not improving. I'm not saying it's their fault, but it is certainly not because I'm not trying.
I get so fed up at times. They reprimand and tease me for any sort of traditionally girly behaviour, but at the same time I'm far too butch. I'm just their hideous, masculine embarrassment of a sister. An actual exchange from the other day:

Me: I'd like a motorcycle.
L+P: Oh god no.
L: That'd make you way butch.
L's friend: Yeah, only hot women look un-butch in leather.
L: You'd pull up on your bike, and be all 'wanna ride' and I'd be '.....only if I can drive...'

So yeah, really pissed off and hurt right now. So freaking what if your friends think I'm a big ol' lesbo dyke and that embarrasses you - Is what I'd like to be able to say. But I can't. They're my brothers, and I obviously care way too much about what they think.