So, I'm really tired and hormonal and cramping like a mo fo and my brothers want to play basketball with them, and I did say I'd try and learn to get better. So at the end of a long day at the end of a long week, I get to be reminded at how much I suck at everything my brothers value. And then L called me a bitch, or technically "to stop acting like a bitch", because he insisted there was a difference, and I left, and got the traditional "oh, there she goes, she never tries hard at anything" response, so I collected myself and went back out, only to go back in 2 minutes later; I said I was tired when P kept telling me to run faster, and L goes "oh, you're saying you work harder than dad?" Not what I meant, and I may have overreacted slighty with the "F-you" rejoinder, but I just don't know what to do.
They want me to be good at their sports, which I'm really not, and they seem amazed when I don't get better with their suggestions, so it is all my fault that I'm not improving. I'm not saying it's their fault, but it is certainly not because I'm not trying.
I get so fed up at times. They reprimand and tease me for any sort of traditionally girly behaviour, but at the same time I'm far too butch. I'm just their hideous, masculine embarrassment of a sister. An actual exchange from the other day:
Me: I'd like a motorcycle.
L+P: Oh god no.
L: That'd make you way butch.
L's friend: Yeah, only hot women look un-butch in leather.
L: You'd pull up on your bike, and be all 'wanna ride' and I'd be '.....only if I can drive...'
So yeah, really pissed off and hurt right now. So freaking what if your friends think I'm a big ol' lesbo dyke and that embarrasses you - Is what I'd like to be able to say. But I can't. They're my brothers, and I obviously care way too much about what they think.
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2 comments:
Aww wulfy, it sounds like you needs a big hug. Are you coming to Tygers tomorrow? Hopefully, because then you can see peoples who are jerks. Ugh, brothers.
I thinks I understand though, they say things they don't realize will hurt because you are just their sister and somehow family members don't have feelings, or something...
I say you should ditch them and teach Riker some amazing tricks and show them up!
Hermit
I don't know how it happens, but somehow little brothers can say and do the most callous, hurtful things to a person. I doubt they're serious about anything they say--they've just got their sarcasm in the wrong place.
(((HHUUUUGGG)))
I want you to feel better. I know it's hard to try and let go of what other people think, but in this case especially, their opinion means bupkis.
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