M: I hate ironing.
Me: i hate....spiders
M: o.o Me too. Let's be friends.
Me: k
also i am drunk
i think you should know this if we are going to be friends
alcohoslfm.
M: Sigh. I'm trying to act surprised, but I got nothing.
I think you have a problem.
Me: i disagree
also the cat loves dirty jobs, apparently
also i coul stp when i wanted to
M: ...
Me: suhddup yo don own me
M: BUT IT'S YOUR BABY.
WHEN YOU GON' STAND UP AND BE A MAN.
Me: I'M GONNA SMACK YOU T' THE MOON IFN YEH DON' SHUTUP, WOMN. MAKE YERSEL USEFL AND GIT ME A SAMMICH.
M: ALL YOU WANT ARE SANDWICHES.
WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?
Me: YOUR NEEDS? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. YE'VE GOT THE KIDS, DON'T YAH?
M: HOW DO I KNOW THEY'RE ALL MINE?
I'M PRETTY SURE [myname] JR IS KOREAN OR SOMETHING.
Me: Y'ALL ARE CRAZY, I AIN'T BIRTHIN NO SPAWN. AND YAH SHUT ER MOUTH ABOOT JR, HE'S TAKIN OVER THE CONVIENCE STORE WHEN I DIE OR GO TO JAIL
M: YOU LOVE THAT CONVIENCE STORE MORE THAN ME.
I KNOW WHAT YOU DO WITH THE SLURPEE MACHINE WHEN I'M NOT THERE.
Me: THAT CONVIENCE STORE PAYS FOR YER FANCY CLOTHES. AND THE SLUSHEE MACHINE IS LESS FRIGID THAN YOO. I GOTTA GET SOME WARMTH AND UNDERSTANDIN SOMEWHAR.
M: IT ISN'T MY FAULT YOU HAD YOUR PUSSY SHOT OFF IN 'NAM.
Me: IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU LET IT RUIN OUR MARRIAGE! I CAN'T HELP IT IF YOU FIND ME REPULSIVE!
M: I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME AGAIN.
Me: AND I JUST WISH YOU EVER LOVED ME. I KNOW ABOUT YOUR PIECES ON THE SIDE, DAMMIT.
M: *SOBS* SOMEONE NEEDS TO FULFILL MY NEEDS.
JUST LOVE ME LIKE I LOVE YOU.
Me: AND I CAN'T, CAN I. BECAUSE I AM BROKEN.
M: LET ME FIX YOU
Me: *SOBS*
M: *SOB* LET ME FIX YOU. *HUG*
And, scene.
Me: where's my sandwich?
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3 comments:
Is this a play you are working on? It really goes all over the map, eh? Would like to hear more about this so I am somewhat less confused, hehe.
Hermy
Ha, perhaps I should have specified - this is just a random, fake, unplanned story/argument that happened with a friend over MSN.
hhahahhah that is AMAZING!!! God, I love you.
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