Now that I'm here, I really don't have much to talk about. No big revelations or anything like that. I guess I shall fill you in on my day-to-day goings, compelling as they are.
So I've been rather sick lately, all cold-ish and such. But I am much better today. Of course, my recovery was probably hampered by the fact that sugar has composed 80% of my diet since Sunday. Shopping day. Yes, I bought sugar. Silly silly Wulf.
My classes have been going pretty well. I base that conclusion on the fact that I enjoy going to them and that I've been doing the proper readings, as I haven't really had anything that would actually reflect progress, like a test. Those are all coming after thanksgiving.
I have seen replacement friend Jo 2 times this year, which is a shame. But we do communicate some over facebook. I loathe facebook, as a side note. It really annoys me. It was fine when it was just a way to contact people, but all these new "apps" sicken me. Okay, I admit I like the fish tank one. But all the other ones? Zombies? Hot or Not? Despicable, I tell you.
I do have slightly more friends than I did last year. There is C-Note from anthro (thus named because her name starts with C, and she asked me for notes. And it's punny.) and M (nothing to do with James Bond, except for the nickname) from anthro also, who once said to me "wouldn't it be funny if that pregnant woman gave birth in class?" I believe my reaction was something like "Yeah...hilarious..." She's cool, and 4th year. In my psych class, there is a woman (who needs a witty nickname) who I hang with before class. She is older than me, and a little prone on giving sage advice, but she's cool. She has a daughter who, if she looks anything like her photo, is the cutest toddler in existence. There was another woman in psych who we used to talk to, but she seems to be avoiding us these days. And we have no idea why.
If you managed to slorg through all that lackluster drudgery, I have yet another thrilling adventure for you. You know those magical things I promised would be here in my last blog post? They're not here! Surprise!
Sometimes I just get struck by the seeming futility of it all, you know? Here I am, working away at something, and no idea why I bother. I do have a general idea of where I want my life to go, but I need to make specific goals and work harder to achieve that, and it sometimes I wonder if the whole damn thing is worth it. I have no idea if I'll actually succeed, and so I can't really make myself care about trying.
Anywho, rambling blog almost over. I've said in the past that I blog for other people and never myself, but I think that last bit was a little for me. A little - now my issues are out there on the great wide web, so hopefully some good will come of it. What I mean by that is I'm waiting for someone tell me how to make it all better.
2 comments:
Ali, I love you, you will succeed in life because there is just no other possibility...you are amazing, you give awesome nicknames, and your friends sound cool! lOVE LOVE LOVE
I say it's absolutely fine to blog for yourself, Ali. I want to know how you're doing more than I want to be entertained, so in fact blogging for yourself is blogging for others (or an-other, as it were). Anyway, this summer, during the last Naramata week I was with this biking group in the morning, and I was chatting with this guy, Mike, on one of our rides. I don't recall how we got to it, but he ended up saying that myself and my peers are really at the point in our lives where we are the most free we will ever be. We have gained our independence but haven't reached the point where we have any other obligations to other people (ie: family, partners, etc.), and encouraged me to enjoy it. And I keep thinking back on this idea every once in awhile when I feel stressed about the future. Because really, I should be enjoying my freedom, doing what is fulfilling for me rather than worrying about what I 'should' be doing or 'where it will get me'. So, my philosophy for right now (and you can take it or leave it as you wish) is to do what I want to do- take the university courses I want to take, do the work that is fulfilling for me, go places and do things that will make me happy- because I am free! My main goal in this is not 'success', for that's a word that someone else has defined for me; it is 'fulfilment', because that's a word I define for myself. And while success can only be found in very narrow parameters and specific circumstances, fulfilment can be found most anywhere, if I choose to look for it. And if I am in a situation where I am not being fulfilled and cannot think of a way to be reasonably happy, that means it's time to change my circumstance- go somewhere else or do something different. So there you have it- Ratty's blitherings for the day :)
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