Shameful.

So the other day (at work, I'm baaaad) I read through pretty much the entire archive of my blog, and evidently I've changed quite a bit in 1 1/2 years, which doesn't seem possible but there you go. I use punctuation and capitalisation more, and am much more chipper. Unfortunately, I seem to have gotten less awesome in the ways of late night revelations. I have a few suspicions of why that is:

1. I am actually sleeping now, so my brain is less apt to fire out random observations as it sleep-starves.
2. I am also actually using my brain more in general, so perhaps it is less desperate to make things up to keep in shape.
3. I am much happier. Not sure what this has to do with intelligence, but it's a primary difference so it must contribute somehow. (I misspelled must and spellcheck offered SMUT. Grin.)

I plan to write another chapter of University Common. I still need to cast my new character and plot the sorority, which is kind of putting me off, but if the interest is there I can spin off a chapter no probs. And I'll attempt to make some sort of recap page too or, failing that, I can just make a word document that people can request.

There is some exciting news in my life right now. Things are coming together for me. My brother and I have a condo, which is actually a unit in a four plex condo complex dealy, so very house-like with lots of windows and new flooring and a basement and everything. Very exciting. We'll be moving in late august - anybody wanna help?
My mother has a line on a car. It's an 1988 Honda Civic, but it runs and is very cheap, so that is cool. Speaking of cars, I am also needing to actually get a license, so that will happen this month or early next.
My job is going well, even though it can be extraordinarily tedious. For instance, what I am doing now is scanning core descriptions for 2002-04. Very little fun involved in standing at a copier for 6 hrs a day. I have a team building event later this month, but my father has discovered he is unable to go, so I'll be all by myself, which I find rather terrifying. Good times.

And that is what is going on in my life.

Droopy Dim the Dummy.

So, in between work, and trying to cram in 12 hours of slacking off into the 5 hours I'm not working, I haven't been up to much. Or doing any planning for camping trips, etc. Sorry. Also,very little time for blogging. Sorry. And I have begun to notice that, 9 times out of 10, I blog when I am depressed and/or PMS!, which I suspect is a bummer. Again, apologies. And I'm doing it again. Augh, I vow to hence forth blog more so I seem like less of a whiny bi-otch.

The Daily 'Dote
You know how everyone has that one person they can't help but be an idiot around? It's like they're kryptonite to your brain. For me, that person is Paula's mom. It's horrible. Whenever I talk to her, I manage to forget English so she has to constantly repeat herself. Once, I telephoned Paula and due to some sort of misunderstanding, thought her mom was her and yammered at her for about 5 minutes until she was all "Uh, I'll go get...Paula...." The latest time I saw her was at P-bro's grad ceremony, and she turned around in her seat and was talking to me, and made a curious up-and-down gesture with her hand. As I was leaning forwards to talk to her, I thought she was talking about the pendulous edge of my shirt, and thus dragged it up rather obviously to hide my cleavage. Turns out she was asking if I'd gotten any taller. SO EMBARRASSING.

Speaking of which, I also sent an email at work to someone I thought was my father and turned out to be not (I hit reply instead of forward) and taken thusly in the wrong context and with the wrong recipient, probably made me sound like a rude, mentally handicapped jackass. So there's another person I have to avoid.

Yello!

So, does anyone want a free book? I just finished "Serenity Bay", bought for 2 dollars from a bargain bin, and I am never going to read it again. I mean, it was well written and all, and I'm sure there are a lot of people who like it and connect with it, but I really did not relate.

It's the story of a woman who marries a man who turns out to be abusive, and only leaves him after he starts to hurt their kids. She then becomes independent and such, which I approve of, but then he kidnaps their kids and here come my issues.

1. She didn't leave him the first time he hit her. This doesn't make me angry at her so much as at our society.
2. When she didn't immediately find her kids, she tries to kill herself. Because, in her own words, she is nothing without her kids. I think motherhood is great and all, but no person, IMHO, should ever be defined by another.
3. She found salvation in the Lord. Don't have a problem with religion, or the power of belief to get you through situations, but when the entire last quarter of a book is about Jesus and His power to heal His people, well, it just ain't my cup o tea, folks. I get it that some people deal with crisis through finding the Lord, but it didn't need to be quite so heavy handed. You can live without Him too, y'know. And the preponderance of capitalization, which I have just demonstrated - is that the standard? Somehow it grates me. Wow this is making me sound like a jerk.

To clear it up, this book is fiction and she gets her kids back. So, anybody want it? Free book? No?

Bitchin' about brothers.

So, I'm really tired and hormonal and cramping like a mo fo and my brothers want to play basketball with them, and I did say I'd try and learn to get better. So at the end of a long day at the end of a long week, I get to be reminded at how much I suck at everything my brothers value. And then L called me a bitch, or technically "to stop acting like a bitch", because he insisted there was a difference, and I left, and got the traditional "oh, there she goes, she never tries hard at anything" response, so I collected myself and went back out, only to go back in 2 minutes later; I said I was tired when P kept telling me to run faster, and L goes "oh, you're saying you work harder than dad?" Not what I meant, and I may have overreacted slighty with the "F-you" rejoinder, but I just don't know what to do.
They want me to be good at their sports, which I'm really not, and they seem amazed when I don't get better with their suggestions, so it is all my fault that I'm not improving. I'm not saying it's their fault, but it is certainly not because I'm not trying.
I get so fed up at times. They reprimand and tease me for any sort of traditionally girly behaviour, but at the same time I'm far too butch. I'm just their hideous, masculine embarrassment of a sister. An actual exchange from the other day:

Me: I'd like a motorcycle.
L+P: Oh god no.
L: That'd make you way butch.
L's friend: Yeah, only hot women look un-butch in leather.
L: You'd pull up on your bike, and be all 'wanna ride' and I'd be '.....only if I can drive...'

So yeah, really pissed off and hurt right now. So freaking what if your friends think I'm a big ol' lesbo dyke and that embarrasses you - Is what I'd like to be able to say. But I can't. They're my brothers, and I obviously care way too much about what they think.

This is how much of a nerd I am.

So, the other week I went upstairs, and there was a notice on the fridge from my landlords. It was as follows, and I quote:

The upstairs bathroom will be temporally out of use due to painting. Please cooperate in the use of the downstairs bathroom. We regret any inconvenience this may cause. Time is of the essence!

Isn't that awesome? Or did you not notice? There is an amusing typo in there. "Temporally." "1. Of, relating to, or limited by time." The geek in me is entertained, especially by the accidental additional hilarity of "Time is of the essence!"

I saw it, and nearly spewed some milk. I was all "oh, they must be taking the bathroom back in time so the paint dries sooner." I am a dweeb, I thought you knew.

Amazazing.

Today, I re-re-(re-?)discovered my old livejournal blog. It's lame, and I spend alot of the time referring to myself in 3rd person, but I did find my old bio, and I thought I'd share it with you here.

Name:	rabid_wulf
Location:	Millarville, Alberta, Canada
Bio:	Well howdy, interested reader. I am Wulf. I have written seven novels and have won the Nobel Peace Prize (under a different persona) for my work in suffrage movements in the early 1800's. I am extremely athletic and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I also happen to be a world renowed authority on saliva, as I have lots of it to study. I really despise cruelty, especially to animals. However, I am not adverse to a spot of torture if the subject is a deserving president, say. I have not had an education, but have given several talks on Einstien's theory of relativity and a few of Descarte's philosophies. I have made a slight amendment to one, and you may quote me: "I sink, therefore I am." My number one goal is to become supreme dictator of the world. Anyway, that is about it. If you want an autograph, stick a wet orangepeel beneath your local mailbox and it will arrive in 30 years.
Interests:	2: classical music, fine literature

Wasn't I a charming child? Of course, if this blog ever gets lost in the sands of internet time, and I find it 20 years later, I'll be very mad at myself for being a pretentious idiot.

Heh.

Given that I am not generally persuaded to show extreme emotion, the other night's post is a little embarrassing in retrospect. I'm not taking it off, nor denying that it happened, because it did, but let's just not speak of it, shall we?

Screw you too, PMS.



It may be because I've been battling with the dreaded syndrome these past few days, and thus am exceedingly melodramatic, but the most amazing thing happened to me tonight.

I was being very depressed, and furious over the loss of my sunglasses, when I went out for a run. So I'm jogging along, and I look up at the stars, because it's a clear night and that's what I do. I locate the first 2 constellations I know, and then I'm looking for Orion. He's near the horizon tonight, and as I follow the stars that make him down, my eyes run into the lights of the city of Lethbridge. And then, here comes the strange part, I start hyperventilating and bawling. I have to lean against a fence. God, the scope! I'm looking at these tiny stars and the distance between them, it's incredible! I wish I could descirbe it to you, the end of the constellation dipping into the city lights, and I realise that the universe is huge. Beyond comprehension. And use, everything on this Earth, the rape, the killings, the hatred, the extinctions and pollutions and sex and babies, it's nothing. We are the tiniest things, completely insignificant, less than a flicker in time, and yet we are made of the dust from stars, and we get to be a part of this amazing and wonderful universe. We'll have lived and died without the nearest star being aware of our being.


I'm sorry if this makes no sense. I'm still crying.

Me being a slime.

Hah, for a second I thought that February came after March, and I was wondering how I'd managed to miss an entire month in posting. But then I got smart again.

Ok, so, Life of Ali:

Went to a real bar, and got drunk! Yay! And I'm not embarrasing when drunk! Yay! And apparently I'm not such a light weight. I thought I was. Here is what I drank: Rum+Coke, Shot, A triple Rum and Coke, and 2 vodkas with orange juice, within 3 hours. And I remember the entire night, and I was in control of everything I said, and my inhibitions were lowered very minimally! There was an idiot cowboy there who kept coming to our table to flirt with the girls, even though he was there with his girlfriend, and I managed not to yell drunkenly at him.
I should say at this point that I'm glad I don't have many friends, and the ones I do have can't afford to drink that often, cause it was really fun and the sort of thing I'd see myself falling into. But don't worry, peoples, I'm keeping an eye on myself.

And more recently, today I got my drama mark back, and (bragging commences) I was the only person in the class who got a grade in the A range! Go me.

These next few weeks are going to be excruciatingly boring, as I only have 2 tests left, and they're not for 2 weeks yet. Blurg. Someone should come visit me.

Grrrr.

Okay, so Nomad/Redcard's recent blog post led me to do some research on male pregnancy. Yes, my mind works in mysterious ways. And I found a site from a medical centre devoted to this guy's pregnancy. And I was SUPER EXCITED. But then, after some research (because I always back up my sources. Always. So important. Ahem.) I have discovered that it is a social experiment. I loathe social experiments. Why do people lie about these things? They fabricate realities about important, ground-breaking, life altering things, and they let people believe it! They don't have any sort of disclaimer or anything! This pregnancy one was sort of easy to see through, because they had a live online sonogram, and that is just ridiculous, but I believed for a second at first.

Why do people trick other people? IT'S NOT NICE TO LIE.

Disclaimer: I do realise that social experiments are much, much more effective when the subjects are not aware of it and thus unbiased and uncensored, but that doesn't mean I have to bloody like it. So, um, not being a sociologist.

That's the link. If you want to see the deceit for yourself.

http://www.malepregnancy.com/



UPDATE: Later, I clicked on another link on that page, which took me to Genochoice, another fake dealy (only this one very obviously so.) The premise is that here you can create a DNA profile of your future child by scanning your and your partner's (or just your own, for a clone) DNA, and be able to fix any defects. Oh, and you scan your thumb, via your COMPUTER MONITOR. I'm not going to go into the science, but anyone with even a rudimentary high school education knows that nothing in the process is possible. No creating individual DNA profiles, no cloning, and certainly no monitor thumb scanning. Ha, and the "expert" was one Dr. Preatner, a prenatal geneticist, and if you look closely you'll note that "Preatner" and "prenatal" have almost exactly the same letters. Tricky.
So I figure, what the hay ride, I'll scan my thumbs. It has 4 options for scanning: CLONE, HETERO, HOMO1 (for lesbians - you need a man, too. Because they can clone, but evidently not fertilize an egg with genetic material from another egg without some sperm. There's the sexism for you.) HOMO2 (for gay men, who do not need a female donor present.) So I click HOMO1, and I have a baby with myself. It "scans" my thumbs - even though I removed them halfway through the process, thinking "Lord, I have my thumbs on my computer screen. This is so dumb." Then, it asks me to make a user name and password to access my results. My user name: H. My password: H. My results come up, and under the category "Behavioural Defects", number 1 on the list, at a risk of 98%, is the "defect" of homosexuality. While I am staring at this somewhat incredulously, Dr. Preatner says, from the safety of a quicktime file, "Hmmm. Doesn't look so good, does it?" I'm kind of angry at this point. Plus, you'd think that 2 lesbian parents wouldn't feel that homosexuality is that much of a defect, and that it would actually maybe fall just this side of preferable, because then they could relate better to their child? Not hating straight kids, though. Just sayin. Oh, and on the bottom, it says "Don't let your children inherit your genetic shortcomings! Upgrade your [gene] profile now!" I was really pissed off. I did HOMO1 again (because even though I am angry, I'm still insufferably scientific) and got a different result, so evidently it's random, because my new child does not have a risk of homosexuality at all - which makes me even angrier. Not only do they call gayness a genetic defect, but it apparently isn't even genetic! (Because you'd think that any child of 2 gay parents has got to have a chance of inheriting teh gay, if indeed it is genetic.)

Then, of course, you have the phony payment page, where you choose what you would like to get rid of/change/add, all for EXTREMELY ridiculous prices. I'm not even going to go into it; I think I've taken enough internet space talking about this...this....RARRGH.

Oh, but if you want to see what is wrong with your baby and therefore you, have at it: www.genochoice.com

My hero is the Dalai Lama.

Registration

That's right, it's registration time for next fall. Sigh. registration always gets me so depressed. I get to be isolated from my almost-friends and I have to meet all new people, and that never goes well.

I am so damn lonely.

Fuck.